Remember the Moment

The Moments I love aren't the big ones... they are often unplanned.  

 The Moments I love are times that my whole family is together... in our home...

 Living our Life... and LOVING on each other.

 The Moments I love are the times that I think, "Life can't possibly get any better than this!"

 Times that I think "God has blessed me so abundantly, what more could I want?"

Times that I think, "I never want to forget this Moment in time."

Mommy Smiles

If you're a mom then I'm SURE you know what I'm talking about... those moments when you can feel yourself smiling so big, then you realize that although the smile is probably showing on your face it is coming from your heart.  Sometimes no-one is around to see it.  Often (if you're anything like me) you find yourself trying to fight the tears of joy that you know are coming.  Mommy smiles are one of the (very) few perks of motherhood that you don't have to share with anyone (nor could you because people-including your husband-would often think you were crazy!)

These are some things that make my mommy heart smile:

• Listening to my children pray
• Listening to my children sing--especially songs about God
• Watching my children dance--spinning, hands lifted, unabandoned 
• Overhearing my children talk as they are playing together
• Knowing my 3-year old is in his room by himself, yet it sounds like he is having a party
• Watching my brave 5-year old make friends on the playground
• Witnessing unprompted acts of kindness
• Watching my 2-year old care for baby dolls the way only a future mommy can
• Seeing my children love and protect each in other in a way that I couldn't possible teach them

Being a mom is far from easy... but the rewards can't be measured!  What makes your mommy heart smile?

I've SO Been There!

Today we took a trip to the mall... it was fun--it was productive--and staying true to life with my three children, it was stressful (at times). We packed a lot into our trip: Sadie's 5 year old pictures; picking out a gift for a new baby (and finding a clearence winter coat/snow pants for Kinnick for next year); buying soccer shoes, shin guards, and socks (this non-experienced soccer mom had to get some help from the store employee for that!); exchanging the Easter headband that Sadie promised she would wear for one I know she will wear; playing in the play area; an incentive trip to Claires that Sadie earned for "big kid" behavior; and lunch with Daddy.

Needless to say this trip had it's share of embarassing mom moments...
1--Waiting in line to pay for babygift/snowpants, Kinnick opened a pack of gum and ate a piece.
2--Ready to go down the escalator with S, K, and M in the stroller and I was approached by 2 gentlemen (from the elevator company). Nice man #1 tells me that he highly recommends me not take the escalator with small children and especially with a stroller and points out the location of the elevator. (At this point Sadie was half way down the escalator.) Kinnick hops on and falls--I grab him with one hand while holding Macey's (backwards stroller) with the other hand. Nice man #1 says, "See, this is exactly what I'm talking about, but don't let me tell you what to do." (At this point Kinnick's elbow is bleeding and Sadie is at the bottom of the escalator walking backwards up the escalator.) I say "Thanks for the advice" with a as much of a smile as I can muster on my face and maneuver Macey's stroller onto the escalator while still holding Kinnick and down we go. (Pretty sure he wishes he had the incident on video to use as a "Why you should take the elevator" promo!)
#3--In sporting store--we have the shoes and are now looking for socks and shin guards. I look up to see Kinnick ready to swing a golf club. I put the club back and tell him to touch the stroller. 30 seconds later--he's gone. I leave the girl's and start yelling his name. I find him 2 aisles over stuffing hockey pucks up his shirt...

I'm sure there are more, but you get the point!

Also while at the mall today I got to be on the "witnessing" side of some (not as embarrasing as mine) mom moments. While in the play area I stopped an escaping toddler while his mom came running from the opposite side of the play area. I was able to smile at her and say "My oldest used to do that every time!" While in the food court I watched a toddler start to wander away from her mom (who was pushing a baby in a stroller) when the mom realized her daughter wasn't right next to her and started frantically scanning I was able to point out her daughter with a knowing smile...

The later moments made me feel like I'm not alone in this crazy journey. Whether it's a complete stranger we will likely never see again or our best friend we really just want to know that someone else has been where we are. We want to know that someone else "gets it." We really just want a knowing smile and to know that we are not being judged.

Out of the Mouth of my 4-Year Old

Sadie loves to make up songs. She especially likes to sing songs about Jesus and God. These songs are often a compilation of bible stories, praise songs, and memory verses that she has learned. She loves to sing them to her brother and sister. As we were riding in the car one day she began singing this song to Macey...

"Sweet Macey, you are so special. God made you and He loves you. God will take care of you always. God is our savior-He will save you. There's no need to want, God will take care of you. He's got the whole world in His hands and He will take care of you too. You are His precious little girl and He will take care of you."

"There's no need to want, God will take care of you."

Words that this mommy needed to hear. Words that this mommy needed to believe. It's so easy to be consumed by worry. It's so easy to be overwhelmed by the never ending amount of work it seems I have to do-especially now. But even now during this unbelievably crazy time in our life God will take care of me. He is providing for my family. His timing is perfect, even when it's hard to understand. God will take care of me.

Lest you think my child is an angel... She went straight from the above song into this song: (Sing to the tune of London Bridge) Poop is falling, falling down, falling down, falling down...

Thankful for the Red Stain on my Couch

This week I received a phone call that stopped me in my tracks. A dear friend of our family called to tell me that the 5 month old infant that she cared for died (from SIDS) while in her home. My heart broke for her and was even more broken for a mom that was grieving the loss of her first born son. I immediately began to think of all the moments this mom will never get... first steps, hearing his sweet voice say "Mama", first day of school. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what she was experiencing. The smell of her sweet baby... gone. The giggles and coos that should be filling her home... gone.

A few days ago Sadie and I attended the funeral of this sweet boy. A little boy we had held and played with. Sadie was in love with him the first time she met him. It's so hard to understand God's plan when looking at a casket so small and seeing a mom and dad completely broken. I was once again faced with the fact that my children are not mine-they are His. He made them and He holds them in His hands. He has numbered their days. It is not my job to protect them-it is my job to surrender them completely to His protection.

As I think back on the first few hours after receiving this news I can remember so many questions filling my mind... questions that may never be answered this side of Heaven. We were in our new house getting some work done when I received the call. Our house was chaotic (to put it nicely). The kids were enjoying playing with Macey's new easel. I thought I was watching them but apparently I was more consumed with my painting because Macey made it out of the room with a red marker. She decided to color on our couch. Before we left to go back to our temporary house (where we were still stayingat the time) I thought I should try to clean the couch. As I was scrubbing the red marker from our couch I was so overcome with thankfulness for my three healthy kids who were playing in our new home... thankful that my youngest was able to color on my couch with a red marker... thankful that red marker stain was my biggest worry... thankful that I was reminded people matter more than things.

My Thankful List...

I loved reading every one's daily "thankful posts" on facebook... I didn't participate but did decide to make my own list here. 25 things I am thankful for:

1. I of course must start with my AMAZING husband... he cooks, he does laundry, and I adore watching him play with our kids!



2. My 3 "full-of-it" children are a close 2nd. They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me a better person.



3. Thankful for ALL my extended family... I have some pretty amazing parents, siblings, in-laws, nieces & nephews.



4. Beyond thankful for my friends... old and new, near and far--I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful support system to laugh and cry with.



5. Thankful for our current church home... The Village Christian Church is an amazing place filled with wonderful people. They do church in a really great way.



6. Thankful for the wonderful generosity of people in our life... sharing their house when we needed a home.



7. Thankful for God's timing... it's always hard to see the "bigger picture" in the midst of everyday life, but His plan is ALWAYS best!



8. Thankful for little conveniences that I often take for granted... garbage disposal, automatic ice maker, garbage pick-up, home mail delivery...



9. Thankful for INTERNET!



10. Thankful for a warm place to live when it's so cold outside.



11. Thankful that God is still teaching me every day... more patience, more kindness, more generosity...



12. Thankful for the ability to run, play with my kids, dance, ride a bike, swim, and much more.



13. Thankful that I love to cook. It's so fun to try a new recipe, make a yummy dessert just to enjoy, or spend time in the kitchen with my kids.



14. Thankful for books! Love reading to my kids, love reading to learn, love reading for pleasure, love going to the library, love browsing a huge bookstore.



15. Thankful for my camera. So glad we have a way to capture every day moments-big and small so we can relive them again and again.



16. Thankful that our family has two vehicles to drive.



17. Thankful for a closet full of clothes, shoes, and lots of fun accessories.



18. Thankful for my education. So glad I chose teaching as a career!



19. Thankful for this season of life--staying home with my family has taught me so much and allowed me so many wonderful opportunities.



20. Thankful for Ms. Pearl's. God really knew what He was doing when He brought me here almost 10 years ago. I love having the opportunity to be a part of something so much bigger than me.



21. Thankful for the different "mom" groups I have been able to be a party of. It's so powerful to receive encouragement from other moms.



22. Thankful for all the ways God is challenging me and growing me... studying His word, small group, book studies, biblical teaching...



23. Thankful for all the people in my life who have adopted or are in the process of adopting.



24. Thankful for worship music.



25. Thankful for a God who is SO BIG... yet cares for me.

3 Little Words...

"Children obey your parents, in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your Father and Mother..."

Ephesians 6:1-2

This is the verse we started memorizing last week. I chose this verse based on the bible study that our small group is currently working through. (Which I really like!) Anyway this week we talked about teaching kids to honor others (in addition to obedience). I have wanted to do this verse for awhile and felt like now is the perfect time. We talked about what it means to honor someone (going above and beyond, doing something unexpected, etc.) and I introduced this verse.

Sometimes I choose a verse to memorize based on what I need to learn/work on because I've found that helping my kids memorize verses is a sure fire way to memorize it myself! Usually I choose a verse based on something they need to work on (sharing, being kind, etc.) I chose this verse thinking it was pretty much just for them (although I know I still need to honor my parents!) I've probably read this verse hundreds of times and always thought that it was written pretty much for kids, but this time I focused on the words "in the Lord" and stopped to think about what they mean. (Now this may be nothing new to most of you reading this but it hit me as something I've never thought about before!) God is instructing me (as a parent) to raise my children based on His word... in the Lord. Their job to obey is based on me first doing my job... WOW!

PS--For those of you haven't tried memorizing scripture with your kids, it's really much easier than you would think! Here's what works for us: I choose a verse and write it out on a note card. I leave the note card with my center piece on the dining room table (sometimes it IS the centerpiece!) We practice the verse before each meal and at snack time. I break it down into phrases and they repeat. Eventually I make the phrases longer until I just need to say a word and they've got it. We always do the scripture references with the verse (mostly for me, b/c I'm not good at remembering them!) After they can say the verse independently we keep doing it for several more days. I also refer back to the verses we've learned when dealing with discipline issues. We usually work on a verse for 2-3 weeks before moving on. I think pretty much as soon as they can talk, they can do this!

It Won't Be Like This For Long

For awhile I thought we'd never be able to get a good a family picture... or a picture of the three kids together...
I also thought I'd never be able to leave the house by myself with three kids...
or have a date night alone with my husband...
or have a girl's night out...
or make it through a day with my insanity intact...

BUT... I've accomplished all these things and so much more.

Marc said the other night, "Our life keeps getting better every day." Not that it wasn't ever great... but I think what he really meant by better was easier. He's right, it does keep getting easier every day...

I'm also learning every day...
That it's okay to take care of myself first...
That the sling and the double stroller are great allies...
That I DO have enough will power and determination to battle a strong-willed child...
That I am accomplishing something very important if I take time out each day to PLAY with my children...
That being consistent really does work...
That I don't have to be perfect...

I love the song It Won't Be Like This For Long by Darius Rucker--it always makes me cry but it gives me great perspective during those "hard times".

"It won't be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laugh'n
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
It won't be like this for long."

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom

• 10--I often forget what the date is and sometimes forget what day of the week it is.
• 9--There are days that I'm inside all day long (except to let Wrigley out!)
• 8--My favorite household job is doing laundry--I always look forward to Thursday b/c it is my laundry day.
• 7--My least favorite "job" is cleaning up spilled drinks/food or potty accidents.
• 6--I don't think I could survive most days without giving the kids a lengthy nap.
• 5--My Friday morning "guilty pleasure" is staying in bed and reading as long as my kids will let me... I always have my book ready!
• 4--Many morning we're not done with breakfast until after 10 (Macey is usually the last b/c she sleeps in the longest and she's a slow eater!)
• 3--I'm a big fan of Mickey Mouse, Special Agent Oso, Team UmiZoomi, and other semi-educational friends that keep my kids entertained for 1/2 hour segments!
• 2--Some days one or more of us stay in our p.j.'s all day long (refer to #9!) Sadie calls it a "jammie party".
• 1--I'm loving my life and wouldn't change anything (except maybe the frequency of #7!)

2010

My Year was Filled with:

*Lots of Cuddles & Kisses

*A New Baby at our House!

*Asking for Advice

*Terrific Toddler Moments...

*And Terrible Toddler Meltdowns

*Messy Faces & Messy Hands

*Life Transition

*Spilled Drinks & Crumbs on the Floor
*LOTS of Teachable Moments

*Walks Outside

*Praying for Patience & Wisdom

*Baby Dolls, Trucks, & Dora Candyland

*Fun Times with Family & Friends

*Traveling

*Trips to the Library

*Hawkeyes, Cubs, & Bears

*New Experiences

*Graham Crackers & Suckers

*Books, Books, & More BOOKS

*And also some Books for ME

*Learning from my Mistakes

*Lots of "Why Mommy?" Questions

*Taking Pictures (and Blogging about them!)

*Phone Calls with Friends

*Playing at the Park

*Nursing

*Adjusting to Life with 3 Under 3

*Dora & Mickey Mouse Club House

*Sad Good-Byes

*Bible Stories & Memory Verses

*Kids in the Kitchen

*Wiping Bottoms & Changing Diapers

*Looking Forward to the Next Adventure

*Grilling

*Birthday Parties

*Swimming (Inside & Out!)

*Working Out

*Tears (Mine & Theirs!)

*Loving All the Moments that Make Up our LIFE

Ponder & Treasure

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19
Although this is the most famous verse about Mary treasuring, it is not the only one... Mary also "treasured all these things in her heart" later in chapter 2 when they lost Jesus at the temple and in Matthew chapter 27 we learn that Mary watched from a distance as her son was crucified... I can only imagine what she was pondering and treasuring at this moment.

As I reflected on this verse, I decided to look up the meaning of the word "ponder"--my favorite definition was consider carefully. I immediately started thinking about how I often cruise through my day in "survival mode". I don't take time to ponder and treasure my everyday moments. I know that it will take constant vigilance, but I want to ponder and treasure the time I have with my children--I already know all too well how fast it flies by... To me it basically boils down to truly being present with them. Sometimes I get to the end of the day and think "What did I even do today?" I can usually list some tasks that I accomplished but I don't have any high lites to speak of. On days when I make an effort to live in the moment, I get to the end of the day and I can replay in my mind the highlights.

Here are some of my recent ponderings:

• Sadie: Listening to Sadie ask questions about why people are different; Listening to Sadie tell the creation story in her own "3-year-old" way; Watching her care for her sister and brother by doing just what I would do; Seeing her work hard to imitate everything I do from what I wear to what I say and everything in between; Watching her carefully consider how much to open up to people outside of our family; Knowing when to push her beyond her comfort zone and when to step back and let her call the shots

• Kinnick: Seeing the joy on his face as he learns how to make and throw snowballs; Watching the excitement in his face as he tells Macey "Hi!" every time she wakes up from a nap; Listening to him sing the ABC song; Listening to him say "Oh Toodles" as he watches Mickey Mouse Club House; Observing him carefully putting toys back in their places when he is done playing; Watching him as he uses his little people and toy animals to give each other Eskimo Kisses saying "Muda Muda" (Muga Muga)

• Macey: Watching her stand on her own and contemplate trying to step toward me; Seeing her face light up whenever she sees her brother, sister, mommy, or daddy; Listening to her imitate sounds and words; Watching her crawl as quickly as possible to her sister's play kitchen so she can get the play phone

The picture at the top is of Kinnick's hands... I was working on a project with Sadie one day and Kinnick wanted to help. I hadn't thought to include him because I didn't know if he would be able to do it (I have a bad habit of underestimating my kids). I pulled him onto my lap and loved watching his chubby little fingers string beads... I thought "This is a moment in time I want to remember."

A Sad Good-Bye

I originally meant to type this post back in May... just now getting around to it, but it seems more fitting to write it now. Today was the first day that the kids came back to school. This was one of my favorite days as a teacher--seeing their little faces. After labeling a bajillion things, I finally got to put a face with a name. It's also exciting to go back and to see all of my friends who I hadn't seen over the summer...

I'm beyond excited to be starting a new chapter in my life--but I'm also sad to be closing the door on this chapter. Although I plan to teach again--I don't know what grade I will get and I'm pretty sure it won't be at Oakland Park. Oakland Park has been a 2nd home to me for the last 5 years. I've made amazing friends who have made a huge difference in my life both professionally and personally. These friends helped me learn the ropes at my first teaching job. They were there through the births of my 3 children. We've laughed, been frustrated (and sometimes angry), laughed, cried a little, and laughed. I couldn't have asked for a better experience to begin my teaching career.

I will miss the school, I will miss the parents, I will dearly miss my co-workers, but most of all--I will miss the kids. Those Kindergarten children were my reason to go to work every day. My job wasn't always easy, but it was guaranteed that I would be giving and receiving LOTS of love each day.

I loved knowing that God was using my talents to make a difference. I feel like I am giving up a piece of who I am, but I know that being a teacher didn't give me value in God's eyes, nor does being a stay-at-home-mom. I am valuable to him because HE created me. HE blessed me with my job at OP and HE has now blessed me with the opportunity to stay home with my children during this season of our life. I am so excited to see what else HE has in store for me!

I'm sure that I will continue to experience sad reminders... like seeing the school supplies in Wal-Mart, or meeting an OP kindergartner at Marc's softball game, or seeing past students in the grocery store, or seeing the crossing guard out my window... but for now I find peace knowing that I am exactly where God wants me to be--and there's no place better!

Why I Teach

I've really struggled lately with working and having my own two sweeties to take care of at home. My heart longs to be with them every day, all day; yet another part of me knows that God has blessed me with the ability to teach. I'm still planning to take some time off and be a "full-time mommy", but until that time gets here, I need to record these thoughts to get me through the hard times:


This is Anthony... You would never guess it by looking, but this sweet little face has caused me much heartache and grief. However, this same face has giving me much cause to rejoice--today was a rejoicing kind of day! Anthony did several things today that AMAZED me:

• Anthony wrote to 13 completely by himself!
• Anthony stoped at the door to the gym (on his way into P.E.) and checked to make sure both his shoes were tied. (Granted he wouldn't have been able to tie them...)
• Anthony brought me a domino from the math center that was broken and said "What's wrong with this?" I told him it was broken and then said "It looks silly." Anthony repeated, "This one is silly Mrs. Gorsch!" (He then brought me a double zero domino and said it too looked silly!)
• When my students were leaving art today, Anthony stopped to pick up a pencil off the floor--he then replaced it to its rightful spot in the pencil cup and smiled at the art teacher.

Now these tasks might not seem like much when you think about a typical K student at this point in the year. This tasks REALLY don't seem like much when you know that this is Anthony's 2nd year in Kindergarten, however, I need to share his story from the beginning...
Anthony walked into my classroom last school year. Along with my other students he entered, somewhat timidly. When I asked Anthony his name, he just looked at me and grunted with a scowl on his face. When I gathered my class on the rug for a story, Anthony didn't think this was a good idea. He refused to come and yelled (very loudly) "I hate you! You can't make me!" In fact these two phrases were the only phrases I heard from Anthony for the first several weeks of school. Not only could Anthony not write a single letter, count, or name shapes and colors; he couldn't name farm animals or simple everyday items--he couldn't even say his name! He was lower intellectually then most 2 year olds and he couldn't perform most simple self-care tasks!
It didn't take a genius to realize that Anthony probably needed some extra help, so I referred him to our RTI team and b/c of the extreme nature of his case, they bumped him to top priority. After months of struggling to meet his needs our psychologist finally came to collect additional information. Anthony mostly communicated in grunts and mean facial gestures, so it was obvious he needed speech therapy. Our psychologist attempted to test him, but his lack of communication proved to make this near impossible--he scores came out in the extreme low range of "mentally impaired."
When we sat down to discuss Anthony's progress we were hesitant to send him to a self-contained MI classroom b/c it seemed that there was more to him. The team decided to try leaving him in my classroom and providing him with additional help in the form of special ed pull-out. (He began receiving speech services in the fall, but his pull-out help did not start until spring.) Typically special ed students are not contained, but my opinion was that there was no way he could go to 1st grade this year (even with his special ed services.) The team agreed and suggested that my classroom would be the best environment for him to repeat Kindergarten. I hesitantly agreed, but in my mind I was thinking "I did my time! It's someone else's turn."
Through all of my struggles to give Anthony as much love as possible I continued to pray for him. I had glimpses into his home life and it wasn't good. The only thing I knew for sure was that God made this little boy and God loves him, so I tried to see him through God's eyes--some days this was easier than others!
It's so rewarding to see that he truly is a different kid this year! He is by no means excelling academically, but everyone who works with Anthony can't believe the difference they see him. What an amazing privledge I have to lift this little child up to God in prayer... (Him along with MANY others!) God has used Anthony to remind me the importance of loving ALL of his children and to remind me what a difference he can make in the lives of children through me... This is why I teach.

Little Reminders

Marc and I both keep an abundance of shoes in our back entryway. Usually whenever we get home from somewhere we kick off our shoes here before we go inside. Sadie has recently joined us in this little routine (completely on her own!) She sits down, pulls her shoes off, and stacks them neatly with ours. She likes to set her shoes on top of her daddy's shoes...

I feel like I'm constantly overwhelmed with picking up our house (not cleaning--just keeping things put away!) There's always toys to pick up, dog water to clean up off the floor (Sadie loves to experiment), cracker crumbs, juice cups, a highchair to wipe off, little clothes that need refolded and put back into the dresser (I've been thinking we need to put childproof latches on her dresser during this phase!), and the list could go on and on. Some days it just seems too overwhelming... on these days I try to remind myself that this phase of our lives is just temporary and all too soon it will be past... I try to look at these messes as little reminders that I have such an awesome little girl (who LOVES to explore!) One of my favorite little reminders is smudgy fingerprints--although seeing this reminder usually means I need to dust or clean glass, I'm hesitant to wipe them away. I always tell Marc that one day I'll long to see these little fingerprints.

God uses many different everyday situations to remind us of his love... I try my best to look at life's many messes as little reminders of how blessed I am! (Besides, I have a feeling that toddler messes will be much easier to smile at than teen-age messes!)