Thankful for the Red Stain on my Couch

This week I received a phone call that stopped me in my tracks. A dear friend of our family called to tell me that the 5 month old infant that she cared for died (from SIDS) while in her home. My heart broke for her and was even more broken for a mom that was grieving the loss of her first born son. I immediately began to think of all the moments this mom will never get... first steps, hearing his sweet voice say "Mama", first day of school. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what she was experiencing. The smell of her sweet baby... gone. The giggles and coos that should be filling her home... gone.

A few days ago Sadie and I attended the funeral of this sweet boy. A little boy we had held and played with. Sadie was in love with him the first time she met him. It's so hard to understand God's plan when looking at a casket so small and seeing a mom and dad completely broken. I was once again faced with the fact that my children are not mine-they are His. He made them and He holds them in His hands. He has numbered their days. It is not my job to protect them-it is my job to surrender them completely to His protection.

As I think back on the first few hours after receiving this news I can remember so many questions filling my mind... questions that may never be answered this side of Heaven. We were in our new house getting some work done when I received the call. Our house was chaotic (to put it nicely). The kids were enjoying playing with Macey's new easel. I thought I was watching them but apparently I was more consumed with my painting because Macey made it out of the room with a red marker. She decided to color on our couch. Before we left to go back to our temporary house (where we were still stayingat the time) I thought I should try to clean the couch. As I was scrubbing the red marker from our couch I was so overcome with thankfulness for my three healthy kids who were playing in our new home... thankful that my youngest was able to color on my couch with a red marker... thankful that red marker stain was my biggest worry... thankful that I was reminded people matter more than things.